SOCIAL ANIMALS

Sitting in the middle of the “holding pen” at the airport this afternoon I was struck by the level of noise…human noise. I tend to keep to myself. I’m one of those folks that follow the rules…you know, those unwritten rules like, “You don’t talk in elevators.”

However, that rule definitely does not apply to airports. Complete strangers all around me were striking up conversations, “Where are you headed?” “Where are you from?” “Who are you visiting?” “Have you been there before?” “Let me show you pictures of my ______(fill in the blank: grandbaby, dog, Halloween costume…).

Apparently the airport is a place where it is acceptable to talk non stop to people you don’t know about stuff that nobody really cares about. What drives that behavior? Why do we have such a strong need to connect with those around us? Does the shared human experience reassure us that we’re “okay”? What is it about the temporary circumstance of waiting at an airport, sitting at the stadium, or standing in line at Disney World that makes us open up?

THE MANHUNT AT HARTSFIELD

I hate to fly, but I love the airport! I have always loved watching people, and the Atlanta airport is teeming with people milling all over like an army of ants.

Today while sitting in the airport, I was on a mission. I just finished reading a steamy romance novel. I looked around the airport and realized this was like hitting the jackpot when it comes to male watching. Yup…on a mission.

In the novel I just read, the hero was 6’5” tall, über-muscular, and gorgeous. He had a full head of luscious black hair and piercing blue eyes. I figure, what better place to spot him or someone like him than at a huge airport like Hartsfield.

Well, let me tell you who I spotted…short men, fat men, tall men, skinny men, bald men, men in suits, men with their pants hanging down below their underwear (eee-eee-www!!!), and even a man in red and white plaid Bermuda shorts, a wild pink floral Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat, sneakers, and black socks. Obviously he was single!

But, among all those hundreds and hundreds of men I looked at today, none looked like they just stepped off the pages of my romance novel. And so I guess that’s why it’s called FICTION.

My Soap Opera Weekend...

Here I am in Emerson, just North of Atlanta. It is early October and it is a beautiful Autumn day! Having left Savannah weather behind, I am surprised at how cold it feels here in the mountains. Cyrus and I are staying with my wonderful friends, Bobby and Chris. Their home is exquisite and Chris has made everything just perfect. The guest room is gorgeous, all done in silver, black, and white. My towels are tied with a bow, there are bottles of Perrier waiting in the guest bath. Every amenity is in place...there were even chocolates waiting by the bed. Chris just has that "something extra" that turns an ordinary visit into something that I think I would see on a soap opera. Candles are lit, appetizers are tastefully arranged in beautiful autumnal serving dishes, crisp white wine is chilled and ready to serve, and the view from her patio is breathtaking...yup, I died and woke up in the middle of General Hospital. She has made this a wonderful memory that I will store away and pull out whenever I need to feel peaceful, blessed, and just happy. I'm posting some pictures so you can share the fun with me. Enjoy the slideshow above.

FACES…from the time we are born, we respond to faces around us. Why do we respond so positively to some faces? I think it is because when those faces look at us, we feel loved and safe. Some faces just make us feel like we belong. Those faces belong to the people in our lives who bring us the greatest joy or pride and sometimes the greatest sadness or disappointment. Here are some of the faces in my life that make me smile, laugh, giggle, or cry.

FACES SMILING AT ME...

S-EEEWWW-SHI

When I say "sushi", most of the time the reaction I get is, "EEEWWW!" Actually, I love sushi and have been eating it for years. If you dig down into the bottom of my purse, you will find that I carry my own chopsticks with me everywhere I go. I associate sushi with family, friends, and fun, but more than that, sushi is such an interesting reflection of Japanese culture.

I love peeking inside someone else's refrigerator. What I find there tells me so much about the person who owns that fridge. It is one of life's unspoken messages. For example, everywhere in my life I am compulsively tidy. EXCEPT inside my fridge. That is my secret ... my fridge is full of stuff, messy, and occasionally has food items growing penicillin on them. I think that because I can't see it, I allow it to get a little bit out of control. Besides, I'm busy controlling the rest of my universe! But, I digress; let's get back to what this blog is really about...

Food reflects culture. Looking at traditional national dishes is like peeking inside an entire nation's refrigerator. For example, England, famous for fish and chips, is an island where fish is a plentiful food source. Scotland, the home of haggis (eeewww!), has rolling hills spotted with sheep. The Parma region of Italy has the perfect grass to feed cows who produce milk that becomes that famous Parmigiana cheese. The leftovers from making the cheese are fed to pigs who eventually become an equally famous Italian export, Parma ham.

So, what does sushi tell us about Japan. Well, Japan is an island with very limited fuel sources. Hence, quick cooking stir fry and raw foods are common. The Japanese culture is one of great refinement. When a guest is invited into the home, it is important that the guest feel honored. It would be unthinkable to expect a guest to prepare his own food. Cutting food is considered part of the preparation process and therefore it would dishonor a guest to expect him or her to cut food on the plate. Hence, small bites are the norm; both stir fry and sushi are served in bite sized pieces. Another way that Japanese cooks honor their guests is through beautiful presentation. A well-prepared plate of sushi is exquisite, looking almost like stained glass. It is colorful, enticing, and appetizing. Eating with chopsticks forces me to slow down and savor the flavors and the conversation.

Unfortunately, American culture is synonymous with fast food picked up at drive through windows: hamburgers, greasy fries, and carbonated drinks. What does that say about our life style? My life isn't so different from anyone else's. Yes, I have been known to take advantage of the fast food option on more than one occasion. However, when doing so, I end up gulping down food at red lights and I most certainly don't feel calm or relaxed. So, when I sit down at the sushi bar with friends around me and a beautiful, colorful plate of sushi in front of me, I am honored and excited to be taking part in an ageless tradition of Japanese culture. But more importantly, I am creating a mental scrapbook of happy times and good memories. So click on the mini movie below and share a sushi memory with me!

SUSHI NIGHTS

Road Trippin'

Taking a road trip with someone you love along Route 66 is probably on the "bucket list" of a lot of people. This summer, I got to do just that. My sister and I traveled on Route 66 from Albuquerque to Arizona. We drove through the Painted Desert, the Petrified Forest, and the Grand Canyon. The landscape was breathtaking and the supernatural beauty of God's creation cannot be captured on film. It can only be captured in the heart.

This was a trip I won't forget. We laughed over dinners, channeled the Eagles while standing on the corner in Winslow, straddled the Continental Divide, and marveled at the beauty of the Canyon. Most of all, it was time spent with my sister. I miss her all the time; she lives 2000 miles away from me and the time we have together is precious. She is a person in my life who makes me giggle. Laughter is perfect medicine for what ails us; and what ails us is normally the stress of every day life: bills, news, teenagers, toddlers, laundry that never goes away, and grass that never stops growing.

So, the next time you have a chance, take a trip with someone you love and just giggle! Enjoy the mini video below and share my trip with me for a moment.

Water, Water Everywhere...

What is it about the water that attracts us? I remember being about three years old, so excited that it was raining. I couldn't wait for the rain to stop so that I could put on my big yellow rubber galoshes and jump in all the puddles! It was that wonderful kind of fun that only a child can have...uninhibited and silly and joyful.

Today I still find myself, along with millions of others, drawn to the water. Year after year I travel to the "coast" or the "shore" or the "beach" (it has different names depending on what part of the country you live in). This summer, my sister and I drove to the Florida beach at Ponte Vedra to sit on a hotel balcony and stare at the ocean.

I don't do much at the ocean...those of you who know me know that I am practically an albino and can't be in the sun for more that a minute or two. So what, you ask, is the draw? I don't know for sure. But there I am...

...I flock to the shoreline along with the rest of the world.

And what do I do once I'm there? I look. Yup, I just stand at the shoreline at sunrise and sunset and stare out at the water. I watch the waves roll in and feel the water lap around my ankles. I wonder at the little shore birds who work so very hard, their little legs pumping as they run along the sand in search of a bite to eat. I marvel at how small and insignificant I feel when standing next to the huge power that is the ocean. I feel God's presence in my world as I stare out into the waves.

A PERFECT BALANCE

I've decided that the desert is a misunderstood landscape. During the day it is barren and dry and hot. People avoid it. I know I associate it with scorpions, snakes, bad Westerns, and thirst. Yet, each time I visit New Mexico I am reminded that there is a reward at the end of a day in the blazing desert heat ... a breathtaking sunset.

The sun glistens and sparkles at it hits the many different minerals that make up the desert soil and the reflections create amazing and vivid colors. The mountains, plateaus, buttes, and other craggy landforms make stark profiles against the blazing colors of the early sunset. As the sun recedes, the colors fade to soft, beautiful pastels. God keeps our world in perfect balance.

LIFE DECONSTRUCTED

I have decided that disassembling a person's life is one of the most emotionally taxing things I've had to do. This week I am in New Mexico helping my sister move my mother out of her home and into my sister's home. My mother's condo is filled with a myriad of items collected and loved over a lifetime of 94 years.

We have to do considerable downsizing in order to make this move. The two of us are sitting side by side, pulling items out one at a time and passing judgement - Goodwill - Garbage - Keep - knowing that each item we discard is something that she has loved enough to hold on to.

So, how do we decide? I don't know. Is the tattered teddy bear a treasure or is it trash? Is it something that she loved and was comforted by as a child or is it something she picked up on QVC a few years ago that was made to look old?

As the Goodwill and Garbage piles grow, so does my sense of sadness. This is a metaphor for life. As we age, we do downsize our lives. My mom has moved from a 4000 square foot house to a 1000 square foot condo, and now to a 120 square foot room.

I realize that I have downsized too. When I was twenty, I had grand visions of how I would change the world. Today, I pray to make a difference in one child's life. I have downsized my dreams. So I'm sitting here wondering if this is a mistake... if I should continue to dream big, or if I'm setting myself up for failure by trying to achieve 20 year old dreams with a 60 year old body.

I've cried this week. I'm not sure if I'm crying over my mom's stuff, or if I'm crying for myself as I face my own personal downsizing. I suspect it is a bit of both. What I am comforted by is the fact that as the volume of my mother's "stuff" is reduced, the love she has from those of us around her is not. There is no downsizing there, and so she is still a very lucky 94 year old.

Generation to Generation

In my father's footsteps:

My father loved to cook. I remember him standing in the kitchen over a hot stove with a cold beer in hand. He spent many an evening pouring over his collection of cookbooks and Gourmet or Bon Appetit magazines looking for new recipes to try. And try them he would. Today I am living in my parents home and each time I walk out into the kitchen I can see him standing there chopping or stirring or sauteing. I miss him.

My father invited my son to join him in the kitchen. They stood side by side while performing culinary tricks and today that passion for cooking has been passed along to a new generation of chefs. I find great pleasure in watching him stand in his kitchen looking so much like my dad. Not only does he like to cook, but he's very good at it!

One of the things I like to do occasionally is pull out one of my father's recipes and recreate it. We all sit around enjoying the food and our memories. Here is one of his favorites. I made it recently, and it is just delicious.

Shrimp with Tequila Dipping Sauce

Shrimp:
Lay 1-2 pounds of medium to large shrimp out on a roasting pan. Coat with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast in the oven at 350 until shrimp have just turned pink. Watch them carefully. If you overcook them, they get tough. Cool them and arrange them on a platter. You may peel them for your guests or leave them in the shell. If you peel them, leave them in the shell until just before you serve them so they won’t dry out.

Dipping sauce:
1 large whole egg
1 large egg yolk
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 Tablespoon white wine vinegar
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup vegetable oil (canola is good)
1 7 oz. jar of pimentos, drained
¼ cup tequila
¼ cup bottled chili sauce
1 dash of Worcestershire sauce
1 dash of bitters
1 dash of hot sauce

In a food processor with the steel blade, blend egg, egg yolk, mustard, vinegar, and salt. With motor running, add oil in a slow stream. Add pimentos, tequila, chili sauce, Worcestershire sauce, bitters, and hot sauce. Blend until well combined.
Put the sauce in a bowl and top with a pretty sprig of parsley and a few lemon wedges.

I Keep Tripping Over GRATITUDE

Let me share a few examples…

First, there was the stand up comedian I spotted while flipping through the channels one evening. It is a nightly ritual. I pay a lot of money to have about a gazillion channels and then complain every night that I can’t find anything on TV to watch. Well, I paused my channel surfing routine when I spotted this comedian. He was one of those chubby, overweight Southern boys who can usually get a laugh out of me. Here’s the part of his monologue that I caught. It went something like this...

My buddy Bubba was told by his doctor that he had only six months to live. In shock, he asked if there was anything that could be done. He was still a young man and had many things left to do in life. The doctor thought about his question for a bit, and then finally gave him a solution. The doctor told him to go out and find the ugliest, most cantankerous woman in Liberty County and marry her. He told Bubba to be sure that he found a woman who would nag him constantly, and complain about everything he said or did. Next, he had to go out and buy the most beat-up old pickup truck he could find, preferably one that would spend most of its time broken down in the yard. Then he needed to buy a run down old trailer and a dog that wouldn’t come to him even if he hung a pork chop around his neck. Well, my friend Bubba was real skeptical; he said, "Doc, are you sure that this will help me to live longer?" "Not at all," replied the doctor, "but it sure will make six months seem a lot longer!"

I was laughing, but it dawned on me that our human nature just loves to complain. In fact, I’d just been enjoying my nightly ritual of complaining about the choices on TV. A few days later I was surfing the internet looking for something I needed to buy for my cousin’s wedding. As I clicked here and there, somehow I landed on an advertisement for Gratitude Rocks. Yes, you heard me, rocks. People are making money selling rocks. But, it was the idea that struck me. Put a gratitude rock in your pocket, each time you touch it you are reminded to take a moment to thank God for your blessings.

I was cleaning my home office and came across a book of poetry by e.e.cummings. In it he wrote, “I thank You God for this most amazing day; for the leaping greenly spirit of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.”Finally, my Oprah magazine arrived in the mailbox. There was a little blurb about how Oprah keeps a gratitude journal. Well, I knew this was true because she had inspired me to do the same thing. I have been journaling my gratitude for a few years now. Do you remember being little and having your mother lean down and whisper, “What do you say”? You knew you were expected to say, “Thank you”. My gratitude journal is my way of reminding myself to say “Thank you” for the blessings in my life. I was feeling pretty smug; yup, I had gratitude covered with my journal. In fact, I picked up my journal to read some of my entries so that I could pat myself on the back for what a really fine and grateful person I am. I flipped through the pages and began to read some of what I have written. Well, I wish I could report to you that what I found reinforced my belief that I had gratitude all taken care of, but unfortunately I can’t.

I’m so old that when I was in elementary school we could actually pray. I remember the “Johnny Appleseed” prayer we used to recite daily before we ate our lunch: Oh the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord,for giving me the things I need,the sun and the rain and the apple seed.The Lord is good to me. Did you have a prayer like that? Sort of the “God is great, God is good, and we thank him for our food.” plain brown wrapper kind of prayer that you recited without ever really thinking about it? Well, when I looked at my marvelous gratitude journal, that is pretty much what I saw. I saw, “I am thankful for my home, my family, my friends, and my health.” And I just sort of recycled those themes over and over again in one form or another over the years.

So, okay, this had all gotten my attention, but I was still questioning: Is this gratitude thing just some New Age, touchy-feely thing, or am I really supposed to remember to say “Thank you”? I believe that a purposeful act of gratitude will enrich our lives, make us more connected to each other and to God.

Now, the question becomes, “How do I take this and apply it to my day to day life?” Dr. Wayne Dyer is quoted as saying, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

Wow! That is an aha! moment for me. I have the power to choose. If I let my human nature control my thoughts, I may choose to be grumpy rather than grateful. Yes, it is our nature. People like to complain and they like to listen to others complain. I can’t remember seeing people at work sitting in the break room talking about all the things they are grateful for, I usually hear them complaining and griping. It is up to me to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. I hear people just like me saying things like:

"Why me?""My husband doesn’t listen!"

“ My wife never shuts up!”

"I deserve more respect!"

"They can’t do that to me!"

"My boss doesn’t appreciate all the work that I do!"

I guess I’m telling myself that I need to stop, step back. Life is a divine appointment and there is a plan for me, and that plan is unfolding each and every day. And so, I have made a new entry into my gratitude journal. I made a list of all the things that upset, frustrate, or sadden me. Then I have begun thinking about ways to turn them into an opportunity for thanksgiving and gratitude. For example, I hate that I am overweight. However, I realized that I should be grateful that over my 38 years in education my weight has provided many children a soft place to land in times of trauma. I really, really hate to pay bills. I put it off as long as I can before they are past due. This month, I gathered the bills in my lap and took a moment to reflect on how lucky I am to have a life style that creates bills. You know, I didn’t mind paying the bills nearly as much.

The Human Spirit

Within each of us, greatness resides.

If you are one of the 25 million or so who have viewed the YouTube video of Susan Boyle's amazing performance on the show Britain's Got Talent, you know that she is living proof. When this unassuming, frumpy, and quirky middle aged woman from a village in Scotland walked out onto the stage, she walked into the hearts of viewers all over the world. The judges and the audience believed that they were in for a terrible joke of a performance. Yet, when she opened her mouth and sang, we all got goosebumps. Her choice of song was so perfect - I Have a Dream - from Les Miserables.

So, today my question is, how do we recognize and tap into the talent, gifts, promises that have been given us? Oprah (she doesn't even need a last name, does she?) and I have a lot in common; we are close in age, we're both female, both intelligent, love to read, enjoy talking, like to figure out what makes people tick. Yet, look at how different we are! Hmmm...

I believe that God did not plan for me to live my life as an ordinary, plain, generic version of myself. I also believe that within me resides something greater, but I'm not even sure where to begin looking. I was in high school and college in the sixties. The Vietnam War was at its peak and the world was in upheaval. Many of my hippie friends dropped out to "find themselves". Well, one thing I do know is that whereever you go, there you are. I don't need to be on an acid trip or in a commune to be me. And yet, I was telling a friend the other day that "just being me" is a huge challenge, because I am constantly struggling to define who "me" is!

Like blue eyes, red hair, fair skin, each of us has been gifted with special abilities and talents. There are folks out there making a fortune writing books, self-help tapes, and more for folks like me. People are spending countless hours trying to develop their spirituality...that essence of who we are that connects us to God and the universe.

Is there a "one size fits all" formula for this? No. I think one thing that makes the difference is an unwaivering belief in self. Greatness doesn't just happen - it is cultivated. People who have successfully tapped into their gifts will tell you that they never doubted themselves. They totally believed that they would win, achieve, succeed, invent, become. Recently I watched a biography of Oprah. One scene stands out in my mind. She often talks about her grandmother. She recalled how her grandmother was attempting to show her how to wash clothes. My "aha" moment came when Oprah said she wasn't paying any attention because somehow, deep within herself, even at the age of four, she knew she would not need to know that.

So there's the rub. It begins with belief. I have spent a lifetime doubting myself. I doubt my intelligence, my worthiness, my appearance, my skill. I have been a chameleon - being and doing what others expect of me. My challenge now is not to develop my talent, but to believe that it is already there.

Bibliography: What's on my Kindle?

Vampires have woven their way through the cover of darkness and landed right smack in the middle of my Kindle screen! But that's not all...everywhere I look I see vampire fever. As I think about it I realize this is definitely not something new. Bela Lugosi was frightening movie goers long before Twilight hit the book stores and the big screen. Think about it...movies include Interview with the Vampire (seen here), Vampire in Paris, Vampire Weekend. We invited Buffy the Vampire Slayer into our homes weekly. Today folks everywhere are tuning into a show called True Blood. The streets and malls are spattered with teenagers sporting a dark, Goth appearance. We dress our children in vampire costumes and parade them around our neighborhoods on Halloween. Why, I even found a vampire attired Teddy Bear for sale! So what is it? What has caused our fascination with vampires? Why are we so consumed with curiosity about these mythical creatures? What part of the human psyche do they tweak? This is going to require more thinking. In the meantime, my Kindle beckons.

May Days...

May has rushed by! School is so busy at this time of year. I feel like work is never done and weekends, though pleasant, are just too short. When I get to Sunday night I want to look back and see that I've had some good sushi, a trip to the Market, an evening browsing at Barnes & Noble, and some time to rest. Of course, there's always the joy of laundry...hohum.

I'm getting ready to visit New Mexico and my family in the middle of June. I am so excited to be crossing off some items on my "bucket list": the Grand Canyon, the Painted Desert, and the Petrified Forest. How cool is that?! I will be posting lots of pictures. Can't wait!